


Keep Yer Pants On, Captain...

by matrixrefugee



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 22:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17537579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matrixrefugee/pseuds/matrixrefugee
Summary: They can't take Jack anywhere without trouble...





	Keep Yer Pants On, Captain...

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](https://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/profile)[fic_promptly](https://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/) [Doctor Who, Rose/Jack/Nine, Jack had forgotten that exhibitionism on that particular planet was a crime](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/144301.html?thread=6643373#cmt6643373)

The Hanging Gardens of Sophronia 4: "Said to be modeled after the ones in ancient Babylon," the Doctor said as the three of them lounged beside one of the many crystal clear pools found throughout those gardens, the naturally pink waters almost salmon-colored under the cloudless orange sky above.

"Don't know about that: I've been to Babylon," Jack said, getting up from his deck chair and sauntering over to the edge of the pool. "Nearly got my ears cut off for trading secrets I'd overheard about Queen Seramis."

"And I wouldn't think that back then, they'd have had gardens that... hang," Rose said, raising her sunglasses to look up toward the giant hovering baskets that hung overhead, with flowering vines trailing down past the tops of the trees around them, even to the surface of the pools.

"One thing they didn't have there: good places to swim," Jack said, peeling out of his shirt, kicking off his sandals, and shucking his trousers.

"Oy, you can't do that 'ere," the Doctor interjected, darting a look at Jack, clearly concerned.

"Keeping me all to yourself again? So why d'you alternate nights with Rose?" Jack teased.

"Gents comparing assets; hope the plants like the testosterone," Rose quipped fanning herself and adjusting the straps of her bathing suit.

"I mean it, Jack: best get yer swimmin' togs if yer plannin' on swimmin' 'ere," the Doctor warned, looking skyward.

"Why? What're they going to do me here? Arrest me for carrying extra cargo and failing to declare it?" Jack retorted, grinning, possibly referring to the sum total of his assets.

An especially thick vine dropped down from one of the hovering baskets, groping around in midair.

" _Swimming in a state of total undress is prohibited in this and all sectors,_ " a female voice intoned, the sound coming from a speaker on the underside of the basket. And before Jack could make a cheeky retort, the groping vine wrapped itself around Jack's waist than yanked him up and towards the basket.

"Nobody told me they got a dress code or friendly viiiiines!!!" Jack hollered, kicking the air in a bid to break free as the vine hauled him out of sight.

The Doctor leapt to his feet. "Oy! Go steal someone else's 'usband! He's not yours to snatch!" he yelled after the vine.

"Better check our line of credit, make sure we can handle Jack's fine," Rose said, sitting up and rummaging in the zip compartment of their beach bag.

"Gettin' to be an expensive partner to keep," the Doctor grumbled.

"Wouldn't want to pay the bail for anyone else, would we?" Rose asked with a smirk, holding up the case with their credit chip.


End file.
